Sunday Satire

A quick note on Mass in Guatemala. I know I’ve touched on this before, but it is worth re-telling:

1. One of the daily hymns is played to the timeless Bob Dylan tune, Blowin in the Wind

2. Get used to seeing lots of mothers breastfeeding before, during, and after the service. They are not discreet about it. For example, have you ever been giving the sign of peace (i.e. shaking hands and reciting, ‘peace be with you’) while the woman’s hand whom you are shaking literally has here shirt off? Correct. Awkward.

3. If you show up at Mass just minutes before it starts and no one is there, don’t worry. The majority of people walk in right before Communion.

4. Dogs like to wander up and down the aisles, even up to the altar at times (well, the good Catholic dogs). Usually not a big distraction. You get used to it. But, it is a little harder to get used to a couple dogs shaggin’ in the back of the church during Mass. Yes, it happened.

5. Finally, if you don’t want to lose your spot/chair, don’t go up for Communion. Chances are it will be taken by a late arrival upon your return.

I have to admit, I feel a bit like Martin Luther posting my Ninety-Five theses at Wittenberg. Hopefully this doesn’t get me kicked out of the BVC program, but I sense the church has become more forgiving since the 16^th century…or so I hope.

Take care,

PD

Crashing Weddings, Fishing, and Earthquakes All in a Days Work

Hello All!

These past two weekends since my last post have been some of the most interesting and entertaining moments I HAVE had and most likely WILL have in Guatemala. I will try and paraphrase and save you the grief of reading for too long, but no promises.

As mentioned in my last post, we went to Panajachel last weekend with the Cowboy. If you don’t remember, the Cowboy is the intermediary for a very generous donor somewhere in Montana. This donor is also building an absolutely beautiful hospital in Panajachel, and we are helping to fill it with medical equipment. For this, we took a pickup load of needed supplies to the hospital that we have here in Cobán. After unloading the pickup, we had a light brunch with the Guatemalan doctors who will be operating the new hospital overlooking Lago Atitlan, claimed to be one of the most beautiful lakes in the world. It is a very large lake, surrounded by three enormous volcanoes. Absolutely stunning. I would suggest looking at pictures of Lago Atitlan on Google, because anything I say here would not do it justice!

In the afternoon we returned to Guatemala City, as the trek back to Cobán was going to be too much – besides the fact it isn’t real safe to be driving after dark, as many places along the route are pretty remote. Instead of getting a hotel, we were able to shack up with Fr. Bernie’s good friend, John Dunn (an American who traveled to Guatemala on a Fulbright Scholarship, and ended up marrying a Guatemalan and having a daughter here). On the way to his home, we picked up some beer and pizza for dinner. We spent the night just sitting around, telling jokes and conversing - a great evening before driving back to Cobán the next morning.

You guys have all heard about people having trouble adjusting to the food down here, right? Well let me tell you, it works both directions. I hadn’t had ANY fast food, not once, since being in Guatemala – almost six months. On Sunday, the day we visited John Dunn, I had both McDonalds AND Dominos in the same day. Lets just say my body hated me, and we’ll leave it at that.

Back in Cobán, we spent the week working like normal. It was Fr. Bernie’s birthday Tuesday, so we celebrated as much as monks are allowed to celebrate. After our workweek, we headed back to Guatemala – two weekends in a row!

The son of Carlos Estrada, one of Fr. Bernie’s best friends here in Cobán, was getting married in Guatemala City. Fr. Bernie was to preside over the Wedding Mass, so Matt and I got invitations as well. It turned out to be the most eloquent, beautiful and extravagant weddings/receptions I have ever been too. The wedding was in a very simple, but picturesque church placed in a very natural setting. After the Mass, we drove to the reception, which was held in an antique finca with stunning gardens and waterscapes. The whole place was lit up with candles, thousands of candles.

Upon entering, there was a delegate of servers with anything and everything you could want – drinks, coffee, appetizers. We went to our tables under a massive tent, complete with two full bars, dance floor, tables for a couple hundred people and a full DJ. Once again, there were servers everywhere. Two per table, literally at your beck and call. They’d probably help you go to the bathroom if you’d wanted them too.

Like any great wedding, there was an open bar the entire night. And not just wine and beer. A FULL bar. Scotch, rum, liqueurs – take your pick. After a couple hours of conversing and meeting a lot of Fr. Bernie’s friends, we ate dinner. The BEST dinner I have ever had mind you. Huge slabs of steak, full seafood platters, pasta, salads and more fruits than I ever knew existed. The dessert buffet didn’t disappoint either. Crème Brule, tiramisu, chocolate mousse (spelling?) to name a few.

On a more serious note, it was a great experience to understand how societies operate in developing countries such as Guatemala. This was an upscale wedding attended almost exclusively by the upper class. With very few exceptions, everyone was of ladino ancestry or German ancestry, with a few Americans as well. Everyone had attended exclusive private schools, meaning the majority spoke English as a second language. Everyone was very finely dressed. Under these circumstances, it is easy to see how poverty is cyclical. The same families have been the wealthy /educated elites for centuries. The circle of influence is very small here in Guatemala. They are all connected somehow, someway – providing great opportunities that most don’t have and never will have.

Okay, back to the wedding. After a bunch of dancing, the DJ stopped playing around 11:00 pm. We stayed around for a while, as we were staying with Carlos – father of the groom - and he had to go pay the tab for the night. When we got back, Fr. Bernie and Matt went straight to bed, but Carlos and I were up ‘socializing’ until the wee hours of the morning (3:00 am) – we are now best friends apparently.

The only bad part about staying up that late is morning comes around very quickly, especially when you are traveling with a monk. We got up at 6:00 am. Yes, three hours after I had gone to bed. I probably would have refused to get up, but we had an invitation to go fishing at Laguna Pino, just outside Guatemala City. We spent the entire day fishing, heaven for me. I pulled a 4.5 lb bass out, which was the big fish of the day – again, making my weekend that much better. Monday morning, we again headed by to Cobán, but this time with some good sunburn…do you guys even know what that is back in MN?

This is almost the end of my post, I promise. This next section is pretty interesting though, so I would suggest reading on. I was rudely awaken this morning at 4:52 am. Why you may ask? Well, I had my first earthquake experience. It wasn’t very bad, but registered a 5.6 on the Richter scale – larger than anything they have had here in about 10 years. Books fell down, car alarms went off and all the dogs in town were going crazy for almost an hour. Not a fun way to wake up, but nonetheless an interesting morning! Add it to the list! We had a second one around 9:20 am as well, that one registering at 5.3. I was awake and outside for this one, so I found it a bit more exciting, and a little less scary thank God.

Well, that’s all I got this week. Hope all is well back home!

Take care,

PD

Great Weather, a Cowboy and our Trip to Panajachel

Hello Friends and Family,

If you happened to be the lucky recipient of this “email” earlier in the week, you will notice certain parts seem very familiar. I just found out I’m taking a trip to Panajachel – and needed to speed this process up, which means I am cutting and pasting a little bit…

How are you all? I hear the weather up in Collegeville is just a delight these days. I’m pretty jealous. We’re stuck with 70 degrees and sunny down here as of late. Just awful.

Besides that, all is great down here. We entertained Fr. Gregory from St. Patrick’s Parish in Edina this past week. It is always nice to have a new face around. I sent him with a CD full of pictures that he is mailing to Br. Paul Richards – so anyone up at St. John’s interested in seeing more pictures should harass Br. Paul.

“The Cowboy” arrived yesterday. I found out his real name, only yesterday, is Dan - but Fr. Bernie refers to him solely as el vaquero (cowboy) because he is from Montana and runs a cattle ranch. When I met him, he had a vest and a cowboy hat on. He was military Special Forces in his youth, and lost his left hand sometime along the way, which has been replaced by a hook. Yes. He is a REAL cowboy – I sure as hell wouldn’t want to mess with him. I hope I don’t call him the cowboy when he is here?! He is the intermediary for a small group of anonymous donors who provided us with a $150,000 last year for our building project at the monastery. Fr. Bernie’s multimedia project, which is his crown jewel and his way to ‘go out with a bang’ as he so eloquently puts it, would not have been possible without their donation. Not even close.

I have been looking forward to meeting him, but it is quite the double-edged sword. Matt (the other volunteer) and I have been ruthlessly cleaning up the construction site for the last week preparing for his visit. He will be taking pictures and giving a report on our progress to the donors, so we want everything in tip-top shape.

I just found out last night that we will be taking a truckload of medical equipment for him to Panajachel (where the same group of donors has built a hospital and outfitted it with doctors), so we have been preparing that equipment for transportation as well. It will be a nice little trip, a lot of driving (Panajachel is six hours a way), but a pleasant break non-the less. On our return trip from Panajachel, we’ll stop in Guatemala City for a day. Matt needs to get an extension on his Visa, and we need to pick up supplies and personnel to finish installing windows in our new buildings. I won’t go into it, as it just raises my blood pressure by about 100 points, but the windows were supposed to be done about three months ago. Parts of the buildings, along with things in the buildings, are getting ruined from the excessive rain and absence of windows. They have excuses for everything – even telling us at times that the crew already left on the bus for Cobán, but they never show up, obviously. Unlike their lies, I WILL BE showing up - with a bat as Fr. Bernie’s “enforcer.” I guess we’ll see how it goes. (Mom, I’m not really bringing a bat – but we will be making a not so cordial visit to their shop)

I hope all is well in Collegeville. I found a copy of Austin Murphy’s “The Sweet Season” in Fr. Bernie’s library. I have just started reading it, and I don’t think I have ever missed St. John’s as much.

I’ll be out of touch until Friday night.

Take care,

PD

Work Hard, Play Hard

Good afternoon all,

This past week was the definition of Dad’s favorite saying, “work hard, play hard.” The only difference here was that we played hard first, and worked after. A fundamental mistake Dad never would allow.

Fr. Bernie, Matt and I traveled north into El Petén. It is the largest department in Guatemala and directly above the department we reside in, Alta Verapaz. El Petén as a region has a tarnished reputation for its high level of drug trafficking and notorious narco-airstrips in the middle of the jungle, but it is also beautiful country and I see why the drug traffickers like is so much!

We stayed at the cabin of Raul, who is the owner of several radio stations throughout Guatemala and a very close friend of Fr. Bernie’s. We have become close friends with him during our time here. His cabin is on Lago de Petén Itza. The lake is extremely large and relatively unpopulated. The actual cabin consists of five cabanas and an abundance of hammocks. Very nice.

Over our three-day weekend at Raul’s, we spent a lot of time fishing, which was absolutely great. I caught my first blanco, said to be the best tasting fish in all of Guatemala. We spent one of the days traveling to near by Yaxha, a large Mayan ruin site similar to Tikal. It was absolutely amazing and would recommend it to anyone coming to Guatemala. Throughout all of this, mind you - I was traveling with 50 to 72 year old men (Raul brought three other friends as well), we drank Scotch. I feel the reputation we former college students have for binge drinking is an unfair stereotype. We never drank that much at a given time on this trip to El Petén, but we would do it for the entire day! And I am pretty sure that is the textbook definition of binge drinking? You’re probably thinking I need to grow up and learn how “men” do it, but WOW. Each day started with an “abierto sus ojos” which means not exactly word for word but, “eye-opener.” As soon as you’d finish, they would inform you that you have TWO eyes, that is to say, here is your second glass. So, for three days straight, I had a minimum of two glasses of Scotch running through my body BEFORE 7:00 am…Not the worst thing in the world I suppose!

On Sunday night as we drove home and I reflected upon our trip, it was absolutely an amazing experience – but in the same vein, I was ready to get back to work.

Vikings lost the same night. They are good at ripping your heart out when you think the game is won.

Back in Cobán, we got to work first thing Monday morning. We had thousands and thousands of articles of clothing that needed to be organized and distributed. Matt and I spent the entire week working on this project. We brought clothes to a couple local churches, sent clothing with sacerdotes (priests) to the aldeas, visited the hospital with 12 rice bags filled with children’s clothes and finally prepared the rest to go with us to the aldeas Salvador Chitzol and Rio Palmeras this next week. We haven’t calculated the exact number, but several hundred people have received clothes throughout this last week. A very fulfilling week of work.

I was talking with my dad this past week about how you become desensitized about things that used to catch your attention. Just read my earlier blogs for examples – they are numerous. Even though I have been here only 5 short months, I feel I have been exposed to quite a bit and not much “sticks out” anymore. But, there was one incident last week that was a quiet reminder of the differences between a country like the States and a third world country battling various degrees of poverty. When I was in the hospital delivering baby clothes, I was speaking with a nun outside the room of a man whom had obviously died. This wasn’t a real problem with me, as I was in a hospital and I’ve seen many dead people down here. But, when I returned with another load of clothes, he was gone. When I was leaving the hospital, I saw him again. His family had arrived in a cab, six of them in all, and they were attempting to lay his erect body across their laps in the back seat of the cab to take him home or to the church or wherever. This was an “eye-opener”, but in a very serious way. The experience was very surreal for one reason or another, I can’t seem to explain. It just felt so foreign compared to how I’ve experienced death and the aftermath in the States.

On a brighter note, we are welcoming two guests this evening from St. Patrick’s Parish in Edina, including their priest Fr. Gregory. They will be working on a water purification project for a couple days here. I look forward to meeting them and working with them this week.

Happy birthday Kevy! I hope the fishing/snowmobiling trip went well.

Take care,

PD

Back in Guatemala

Happy New Years Everyone,

Yes. It has been my longest period thus far without a new blog entry. Sorry for those of you who look forward to reading them. Sorry to those as well who are close family members and friends that feel morally obligated to read my blog, and must now read a new entry!

I just got back from a two-week long trip back home in Minnesota. It was a blast to see friends and family, as well as to “re-charge” before heading back to Guatemala and my work here. I spent New Years in Uptown (great party Gibbs, the piñata was very classy), then I went to Kip and Maggie’s wedding in Brainerd. The best part of the wedding was actually the day before when we had a pseudo bachelor party for Kip. It was 28 below zero and we were ice fishing WITHOUT icehouses. Typical Minnesotans…we had to keep the beer in coolers to prevent it from freezing. The best photo of the day was all of our beers sitting in the fire. After they warmed up, you could take a quick swig before having to place it back into the fire to thaw out again. Without our good ol’ hometown company Phillip’s Distilling and their therapeutic Hot 100, I don’t think any of us would have lasted more than an hour out on the ice!

The day after the wedding, I left for Steamboat Colorado where I spent six days on the slopes. Even being in Guatemala this year, winter could not be winter without at least one ski trip!

Before leaving to return to Guatemala, I spent a day up at St. John’s visiting friends. On my return, I traveled half the wonderful state of Minnesota picking up things for Fr. Bernie that I needed to bring along with me to Guatemala. The last engagement I had was with Nicole of St. Patrick’s Parish in Edina. She will be leading a group of college students to Cobán in May and I am helping to coordinate the trip. It should be a very fun and rewarding experience for all parties involved.

A bit of a flashback here, but I spent Christmas here in Cobán as well. It just wasn’t the same without family, but the experience was very humbling. We did a small gift exchange within the monastery (Matt and I took photos with all the monks, then had them developed and framed) and later we spent time in the regional hospital in Cobán. It was not the most enjoyable time I have ever had, but I can appreciate the experience. Christmas will be that much more important to me from now on, and for someone who loves Christmas – that’s saying a lot!

Go Vikes! You looked awesome this weekend!!!

Congratulations Kipper and Maggie on the wedding!!! I hope your tropical honeymoon was enjoyable. Rrrrraw!

Take care,

PD

Escuela Vacaciones

Happy holidays everyone!

I hope you are all enjoying the cold weather in MN...you probably think I am making fun of you from a nice tropical climate (which believe me, it is very nice!), but Christmas just isn't the same without snow on the ground and frostbite on numerous extremities.

We finished our vacation school yesterday. Here in Guatemala, we are on "summer" break right now so to speak. The vacation school was an optional class that 38 students decided to participate in. We taught both English and Intro to Computation (basics of the computer). The vacation school also included the nutrition program I have been working on.

For a final hooray, we had a fiesta yesterday. We brought ice cream (a first for many), cake, drinks and enough food to feed just about the entire community (parents, siblings, non-participants). We also gave away flashlights to all the students. Fr. Bernie had them donated, and they are great for the aldeas because they don't require electricity (which the community doesn't have and cannot afford to purchase batteries). These lights have a small hand crank on them that you spin to turn a mini generator in the flashlight that powers the light. Very cool. The kids were ecstatic.

After dancing for an our or so to burn off all the extra calories from the sweets, we gave away the grand final. I spent the day before making diplomas for all the students and appreciation certificates for the mothers that decided to help cook with the nutrition program. More smiles. It was really a great day for everyone.

Thank you Kevin for scoring me a College Pass to Steamboat...helped me BIG time!!!

Go Vikes!

I hope you all have a great Christmas, and I look forward to seeing everyone soon. I'll be back in MN on the 28th of December for two weeks.

PD

Tis the Season

Hello all!

I haven't blogged for a while, but to tell you the truth not a lot has happened lately (not a good opening line, I know. But keep reading if you want). Just lots of work and studying...

This past week we started learning Christmas songs in Spanish. It is really funny because they have the same tune, but often times have very different translations - kind of confusing. We are teaching our students these songs in the aldeas, too. They are mostly Catholic with indigenous Mayan influence, but are unfamiliar with Christmas songs. How sad, I know.

I'm fighting a cold night now, which isn't real important to anyone - but it highlights some traditional thinking that is kind of humorous. I'm not trying to sound demeaning, but it is just very different than what we know in healthcare these days in the States. The best example is their fear of hot/cold combos. If you come in from the rain, they don't want you to take a warm shower. Or I'll finish running, but they advise against talking a cold shower. I can't even eat ice cream with hot fudge! This hot/cold combo is the only reason people get sick down here, apparently. I was telling some of the monks that I got sick this time because I'm always around our students - and there are always a couple who will be sick. They disagreed with me and said it was because it is really hot where you work in the jungle and cooler here in Coban. They even went as far as to tell me that I should drink a glass of whiskey for my throat, but without ice. If there is ice in it, you will just get worse! I like the idea of having a glass of whiskey, but without ice - not so sure! Maybe I'll just have one with ice and another without ice. They should balance out, right?

The other traditional thinking mentality I've experienced here is that EVERYTHING is gripe (Spanish for 'flu'). Whether you have a headache, are stuffed up, or have a fever - you have gripe. There is no distinguishing between bacterial infections, viruses, or fungus among others. There exists only one type of sickness in the world, and that is gripe!!!

We did get some good news yesterday. MAGA and the Departmental Government of Alta Verapaz approved a grant for our chicken coop project. The grant will fund the purchase of all our chickens, feeders, feed concentrate, and egg cartons. This is GREAT news as we didn't have enough money to finish the project!

Talking about financial problems...ahhh Dubai - you make me laugh.

This is just a pet-peeve, but I just have to get it off my chest. We have breakfast every morning here at 7:00 am. We usually leave for work well before this and eat on the way, but somedays we stay in Coban and "sleep in" until 7:00 am. Anyways, if you don't show up for breakfast, the community is small enough that everyone notices. All day I get interrogated about what happened the night before - so I just never miss breakfast, it is easier that way. This morning, I decided to sleep in until 8:00 am when work starts because I'm sick. Should have known it, Fr. Bernie told me the entire community thinks I was hung over...awesome.

Hope everyone is having a great holiday season. I heard MN just got hit with a big storm. Send some of that snow down here!

Looking forward to seeing everyone soon,

PD

(Chicken coop project in Yalchacti)